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A Country Celebrates Memorial Day

MemorialAdmin • May 26, 2016

 

Cemetary_Holladay_Panorama1
Memorial Holladay Cemetery Grounds

It’s Memorial Day weekend—for many people, the first holiday of the summer season. Families across the country will take the holiday as a chance to relax and spend time with one another. As we celebrate, let’s remember what the federal holiday is really about, and where it came from.

What is Memorial Day about?

Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday where we have an opportunity to pay tribute to our loved ones who have passed on. It is a day of recognition of both life and death, a day when we mourn and celebrate. Many people take the opportunity to visit the gravesites of their family members and friends. Others use the day as a chance to celebrate national pride, and special thanks are given to our troops and veterans who have died in service of their country.

When did Memorial Day start?

The last Monday in May became Decoration Day right after the Civil War to recognize the many men who had fallen in battle. On the first Decoration Day, May 30, 1868, General James Garfield spoke at Arlington National Cemetery. After the speech, 5,000 participants decorated the graves of the 20,000 Union and Confederate soldiers buried there.

In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson declared Waterloo, N.Y., the “birthplace” of Memorial Day. The day was officially made a federal holiday in 1971, and was dubbed “Memorial Day” with the Congressional Passage of the National Holiday Act. It is important to recognize that Memorial Day is different from Veterans Day in November, which recognizes all those who have served their country. Memorial Day honors those who have laid down their lives in the service of the United States.

What are some common Memorial Day traditions?

On the first Decoration Day in 1868, small American flags were placed on each grave in Arlington National Cemetery— a tradition followed at many national cemeteries today. In recent years, the custom has grown in many families to decorate the graves of all departed loved ones.

Since the year 2000, people across the United States hold a national moment of remembrance. At 3:00 pm local time on the last Monday in May, people across the U.S. observe a moment of silence to honor those who have died in the service of our country. Many local events and households play “taps,” prayers are uttered, and American flags are flown at half-mast to demonstrate a demeanor of mourning.

Another Memorial Day tradition is the wearing of poppies. In 1915, Moina Michael wrote this poem :

“We cherish too, the Poppy red poppy
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies

That blood of heroes never dies.”

Michael began selling poppies to her friends and co-workers to wear on Memorial Day to recognize those who died serving the country. This effort grew year by year, and eventually Michael sold the poppies to raise money for war-orphaned children and widowed women. Wearing poppies, laying them on graves and using them as decoration is still a prominent Memorial Day tradition.

However you choose to celebrate this Monday, take some time to reflect and appreciate the brave men and women who serve our country, especially those who have lost their lives in so doing.

July 17, 2024
Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house Grief Counselor, Amanda Nelsen As a grief therapist, I have found that people who have, or are able to create, a support network for themselves after a death of a loved one seem to have better outcomes in their grief overall. It can be key to helping yourself through the dark days. Below are some ideas to help you start or grow your own network. 1. Grief is isolating and connection is healing. Often we isolate ourselves when we are experiencing a lot of pain from grief. Many people will find a natural support network among their friends and family. Allow yourself to open up to those closest to you, even if it feels uncomfortable and not natural at first. 2. Groups and professionals. In addition to connecting with those you know and love, it can also be helpful to connect with a support group of others who are also navigating their grief. Support groups can provide a sense of community and understanding that you may not have with those already in your life. In addition, a professional, like a therapist or social worker, may also provide a safe space for you to explore your emotions and navigate the challenges of grief. 3. Acknowledge and express your emotions. There are a LOT of emotions that come with grief. Anger, sadness, shame, guilt, joy, relief, irritation, numbness, and so much more. Allow yourself to express and process all those emotions – and when you are ready, share them with those around you. It’s hard for others to support you if they don’t know what you are going through. 4. Express your needs clearly. Communication is key when you are building your support network. Your loved ones can’t help you if they don’t know what you want from them. Of course, this can be complicated when we aren’t even sure what we need or want, but even letting others know that YOU don’t know can be helpful. 5. Have flexibility and patience - with yourself and others. As you’ve probably discovered, grieving is very individual and everyone grieves at their own pace. People in your network will all be grieving differently. Holding space for compassion and understanding for them (and yourself) will be essential. 6. Share memories and create new traditions together. You might want to ask your support system to help you create a scrapbook, or organize a memorial event, or find other rituals that hold meaning to you. Having shared experiences strengthens your connection with others who also might be grieving. 7. Find ways to GIVE support. Many times when we are grieving we find it hard to think about others, because we are so full of pain ourselves or are just focused on surviving the next day. But when we find some space to help others, we usually find some healing. It might not seem like much, but dropping off a meal or a sending a text can really uplift someone else. 8. Setting boundaries within your support system. While support and connection are vital to grief, setting healthy boundaries is also important. You might want to keep certain memorial rituals to yourself, or carve out alone time. You may need specific types of support (and not want others). And this all might change over time. Check in with yourself regularly to figure out what boundaries are healthy for you, and then communicate them clearly to those around you. 9. Acknowledge and celebrate resilience and growth. Grief is about loss, but it can also be about resilience and growth. Find ways to celebrate the small moments with your support network. Share stories of strength and survival. Make healing a collaborative process – we can find solace in the journey of remembering our loved ones. If you feel like you could use extra support with your grief, please reach out to Amanda Nelsen Amanda.Nelsen@MemorialUtah.com.
June 12, 2024
Life takes us on many adventures. None more mysterious than when we leave this world. There is sadness, for sure. And there is probably a feeling of not having accomplished enough. Some cultures believe we fly away on gossamer wings. Others that we never really leave but remain to protect or pester our loved ones. Some believe we simply become part of the earth. Many of us believe there is something waiting for us, along with a few duties and the ability to watch over those we left behind. These beliefs can sometimes intensify feelings of responsibility to our families before we go. There are the logistics that nag us: how is the funeral paid for? Who will speak? Who can I politely ask not to speak? Where will I be laid to rest? And do we really need to have bagpipes? Once these are taken care of, we can focus on the relationships we value the most. Time is the one commodity we can never seem to get enough of. Being prepared frees up our minds and hearts to make use of the time we have. There is only so much time. And whether we fly away on wings when we die or get to sit unnoticed at a grandchild’s recital, knowing your loved ones don’t have to stress out over your funeral or find a way to pay for it is the best gift you can give them, and yourself. If you’ve already pre-planned your funeral and cemetery needs, then you know exactly this feeling of peace of mind. If you haven’t pre-planned yet, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at. We are here to help guide you and ensure that all of your needs are taken care.
By Belle Archuleta March 13, 2024
Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house Grief Counselor, Amanda Nelsen Technology and Grief Grief often changes our whole world – and the digital age has brought about a whole new dimension of grief. Mourning used to be more intimate – something that was done with a small group of family or friends and typically in person. Now our grief experience can play out on the public stage of social media, online communities, and virtual memorials. Below we will highlight a few of the unique challenges and unexpected opportunities that come with navigating grief in our tech-connected world. The Social Media Dilemma In the digital era, it's become customary to share our lives online, but when it comes to grief, the lines blur. Condolences come in the form of likes and comments, leaving us to grapple with the question: Is a virtual hug as comforting as a real one? The struggle to balance the genuine support from our online circles with the sometimes superficial nature of digital interactions is real. We can be surrounded by digital support, but still feel quite alone in our grief day-to-day. Online Communities One beneficial aspect of grieving in the digital age is the emergence of online communities that offer comfort and understanding. Whether it's a forum, a Facebook group, or a subreddit, these virtual spaces have become very popular over the past couple decades. The ability to connect with others who have walked a similar path can be a lifeline in times of isolation. They can be especially helpful when you feel you have a unique grief/situation and are having a hard time finding people around you who have been through a similar situation. The Echo Chamber of Grief While online support can be a balm for the grieving soul, the digital echo chamber can also amplify the pain. Constant reminders of loss, triggered by algorithms and shared memories, can sometimes hinder the healing process. Striking a balance between staying connected and avoiding being overloaded can be difficult. Pressure to Post These days, when we are so connected, grieving in the public eye can sometimes feel like a performance. We might feel pressure to share our grief when we aren’t ready, or to put a positive spin on our grief when we aren’t feeling that way. We also may not want to share anything about our grief at all, which can also leave others feeling like we aren’t “properly” grieving. It can sometimes feel difficult to balance vulnerability and privacy. Embracing the Pros and Cons of Digital Grief In our hyperconnected world, grief weaves itself into many digital aspects of our lives. The challenges are real, but so are the opportunities for connection and understanding. As we navigate loss in the digital age, let's remember that grief is as unique as the internet – messy, unpredictable, and ultimately, a deeply human experience. So here's to finding comfort in the virtual hugs, solace in shared stories, and navigating grief in a world that's more connected than ever. If you feel like you could use extra support with your grief, please reach out to Amanda Nelsen Amanda.Nelsen@MemorialUtah.com.
By MemorialAdmin September 21, 2022
  Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house Grief Counselor, Amanda Nelsen How can I get closure? This is a question I hear on a pretty regular basis. And I completely understand what is behind it – we want to be able to put the painful feelings of grief behind us. We want to be … Continued The post Grief Integration appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin June 30, 2022
Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house Grief Counselor, Amanda Nelsen The topic of regret has been on my mind recently. I often hear clients talk about the regrets they had after a loved one died – some become quite reflective on things they could have done differently or “better” while their loved one was … Continued The post Regret appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin March 30, 2022
    As a grief therapist, I have seen a lot of people grieving loved ones who died from Covid-19 over the past couple of years. A recent study has shown that people who have experienced the death of a loved one due to Covid-19, have increased mental health issues than a pre-pandemic death (Breen, … Continued The post Navigating Grief During and After the Covid-19 Pandemic appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin April 23, 2020
We are grateful your family has chosen to entrust your loved one into our care. The recent COVID-19 pandemic has required us to enact some adjustments to how we conduct arrangement conferences, viewings, funeral or memorial services, and other aspects of our processes. Our goal is to allow you and your family to spend as … Continued The post An Update regarding COVID-19 and its impacts on funeral, burial, and memorial services appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin September 26, 2019
  Recently, an article came out highlighting the incredible relationship between a mother Orca and her baby calf, who passed away shortly after being born. The mother, Tahlequah, used her snout to keep her deceased calf afloat for 17 days and covered over 1,000 miles of ocean in the process, an unprecedented display of mourning … Continued The post Why is a funeral so important? appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin May 7, 2019
Many of us have seen a loved one struggle with a terminal diagnosis. It isn’t something we like to talk about, but many of us will also get our OWN terminal diagnosis.  Having a terminal diagnosis brings its own type of grief and decisions to be made. How do you grieve your own death before … Continued The post Coping With A Terminal Illness appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin January 3, 2019
Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house grief counselor, Amanda Nelsen: I am often asked for resources for young children who have lost someone close to them. Stories are often a good way to open up dialogue with children and illustrate death in a more concrete fashion. I compiled some of my favorites for easy … Continued The post Grief Resources for Children appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
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